Hello
I went to the Royal Marsden Hospital in London on Friday. When I left I was in quite a euphoric mood as they said that depending on the results of a CT and PET scans they could offer me some treatment. On the way home I sent text messages to various friends saying that it was good news.
However what I did not expect was the feelings and emotions I was going to go through over the weekend. For whatever reason I woke up about 1 on Saturday morning convinced that I was going to die soon a feeling that stayed with me the whole weekend. Even this morning I was awake about 3.30 and had a pain in my right side that did not want to go away. Fortunately by the time I got up at 5.30 it had gone and has not come back.
Over the last year I have never had feelings like this and I was struggling to cope with them. I have always tried to stay positive but I can truthfully say it was the worst couple of days I have ever known.
I will continue with some more memories next time but at the moment I am listening to Beth Nielsen Chapman being interviewed by Roger Day on BBC Radio Kent.
Andy
9 comments:
I think Andy that it is the relief after thinking doom laden thoughts for so long that instead of the up beat thoughts you should be having your sub concious won't quite believe what you are really thinking....Having read just what I have written don't know if it actually makes any sense..probably not..but it does to me !!
Keep smiling and soon the sunshine will be shining down on you..
I have a friend who is going into Royal Marsden on Thurs for start of chemo her name is Angie, please spare a thought for her. Thank you
Love Sybil x
Understandable, Andy, as you have been peering down the barrel of a gun for a while. Not something that leaves you in a hurry. Focus on the light and the positive side of things. Keep posting.
Guido
Hope the results are very postive for you.
I pray the scan results are good and you can have the help you need ..love Jan xx
Please God that the scans are positive Andy.
I recognise your fear. I too went through that when I was diagnosed with my cancer and also through my low points duing my chemo.
I have a way of recognising those times as ' my right to feel sorry for myself'. It is a natural and feeling at these times where we wish it would all go away!
A good old cry helped me to let out all the stress which gave me the blues. Don't keep it in...let it out and then move on to a positive outlook. After all it is happening to 'YOU' and no one else. Even though loved ones are there for you. It can be a lonely place.
I pray that you will hear positive news soon.
God bless you.
Jeanie
PERHAPS IT WAS THE FACT THAT YOU GOT SOME ENCOURAGING NEWS AND THEREFORE FELT SAFE THINKING OF THE ALTERNATIVE...
WISHING YOU ALL THE BEST...
If I could write a comment here that even came close to what I am thinking then I would indeed have conquered the English Language.
As it is I am left speechless in the face of simple courage.
we all have moments of struggling with the positive Andy, you're not alone there.
I'm pleased of your good news and wishing you well :)
I had an upbringing rich in everything you couldn't buy, and I enjoyed your recollections.
rache
Andy, do they have a support group at the hospital? I think that feelings like this are perfectly normal, and perhaps there are people you can contact in times like these, people who have been through similar situations. Hugs, Beth
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