I went to the Royal Marsden Hospital in London on Friday. When I left I was in quite a euphoric mood as they said that depending on the results of a CT and PET scans they could offer me some treatment. On the way home I sent text messages to various friends saying that it was good news.
However what I did not expect was the feelings and emotions I was going to go through over the weekend. For whatever reason I woke up about 1 on Saturday morning convinced that I was going to die soon a feeling that stayed with me the whole weekend. Even this morning I was awake about 3.30 and had a pain in my right side that did not want to go away. Fortunately by the time I got up at 5.30 it had gone and has not come back.
Over the last year I have never had feelings like this and I was struggling to cope with them. I have always tried to stay positive but I can truthfully say it was the worst couple of days I have ever known.
I will continue with some more memories next time but at the moment I am listening to Beth Nielsen Chapman being interviewed by Roger Day on BBC Radio Kent.