Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Its good news

Went to the hospital today and I am pleased to say that the news is good.

The cancer is still there but is not spreading!!! Have to go back in three months time.

I do not really understand why I worry about it so much, well I suppose I do really but when there is so much trauma in my life it just seems to be the straw that breaks the camels back.

Hope you are managing to keep warm and safe in this atrocious weather, when I left the hospital it was snowing heavily and now 4 hours later it still is. They are forecasting more snow overnight and a wind chill factor of minus 8 in the morning. Not surprisingly hibernation seems like a great idea!


Monday, 29 November 2010


In the words of the song 'Baby its cold outside'.

Its the time to snuggle up in front of the fire.

As its my birthday today who would I like to snuggle up with, could it be******************.

Now that would be telling wouldn't it.


Thursday, 25 November 2010

Fearing the worst


I have recently had both a PET and a CT scan and have to see the consultant this Tuesday the 30th. This is the day after my birthday and good results would be a very nice present I fear the worst.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a born worrier but this time I really feel that things are going to be bad. Last year I was told twice that I only had months rather than years to live. Was also told that last Christmas would be my last and that I would never see my daughter go to medical school and I have proved both those predictions wrong, my daughter started at Hull Medical School in September.

The date of 30th November is also significant in that I returned to work on 1st December last year even though I was told by the medics to take my pension and have a good time. Glad I didn't take there advice on that one!

If I do need further treatment it may include stem cell treatment which involves a stay of 3 months in hospital and in all honesty I do not think I could tolerate this especially as the success rate is only 30%. May be I should just let nature take its course, I am so worried I do not know what I will do. Hopefully it is going to be good news but my mind is certain that it wont be. As you can imagine this along with a lot of tension at home is causing many sleepless nights.

I have also updated my will which includes my funeral arrangements which is also playing on my mind. In a similar context we were discussing funerals at work the other day (another friend has passed to the great railway station in the sky) and the conversation turned to epitaphs and I said I only wanted two words-'He cared'.

On the subject of caring I would like to say a very special thanks to one of my fellow bloggers who is a tower of strength to me. All I will say is that I want her to find that special happiness that seems to elude me.


Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Daisy Meely Trust

The five year old daughter of one of my Facebook friends is suffering from Aplasic Anemia which is a condition where the bone marrow does not make enough red blood cells and is quite serious.

Like the Antony Nolan trust they are apealing for bone marrow donors so please if you can consider becoming a donor it would be much apreciated. At the moment Daisy is under the care of Bristol Childrens Hospital and I am sure they would love to hear from you.

More information can be found by searching for Daisy Meely Trust on Facebook


Friday, 5 November 2010


My thoughts are with those injured in the crash at Oxshott this afternoon. A cement mixer fell of an overbridge and landed on top of the 15.05 Guilford to Waterloo via Effingham service. Fortunately there seems to be no fatalities but several serious injuries.


Wednesday, 3 November 2010

By request!

Several people have asked me to carry on relating my railway memories so here we go again.

Certainly over the years there have been many varied and good times, however there have been times when it has been anything but fun.

Over the years I have had a sweet and sour poured over me and believe me that is hard to get out of your hair! Also been subject to a prolonged snowball fight but the worst thing that ever happened to me was being robbed at the wrong end of a 14 inch carving knife. Despite all the training you get that you just hand the money over when it happens to you you feel so incensed that its happened to you, you do things that no sensible person would. When I was robbed I was so furious that I gave chase, fortunately for me he got away as god knows what would of happened if I had caught him.

Fortunately I have never been involved in the kind of incident that happened on a train a month or so ago. There was a fight on the train which involved multiple stabbings and a shooting! When the injured people arrived at hospital ther asailants followed them and started spraying acid around. The police closed the station until lunchtime the following day leading to comments on the lines of typical railway cant organise a p**s up in a brewery even though it was on police orders. A day on Southeastern can be an education and an eye opener!

The other thing that crops up from time to time are fatalities. They say that the first one you see is the worst but having seen 7 now it still turns my stomach but you have to get on with the job in hand but afterwards it can give you sleepless nights to say the least. Mind you thats nothing to what a train driver goes through as ther is nothing they can do to avoid the situation. Fortunately we have a good chain of care procedure in place for staff involved in this kind of incident.

Anyway thats the 'bad' parts dealt with, happier times next time.